Gopher's Therapist
by MakenshiCrona
Summary: Gopher really needs a therapist.


**A/N: I had to write it.**

**Summary: Gopher needs therapist. What with that damned Maka Albarn, Noah is mad at him. Justin Law has also become very fond of dressing up the poor boy in girly clothing. And Giriko is sexually molesting him. Who other to complain to then Death the Kid?**

**Rating: T (just for some language and suggested themes, nothing too bad though)**

…

"Noo~ Come back, Gopher-tan!"

Said boy was storming away from the room he previously was in, the frilly pink dress that had been forced onto him bouncing femininely as he walked. Embarrassed tears were forming at the edges of his eyes, eyebrows furrowed heavily over his dark blue eyes; he could feel that he was about to break the skin of the upper lip he was so furiously biting at.

Justin Law was standing at the doorway of the room he had escaped, raising a small pink bow into the air, his whine trailing down the long hallway, "Gopher-tan~! We haven't put on all of your ribbons yet!"

Gopher ripped out the bow that was already pinned into his hair, it was hanging loosely because the boy had struggled so much when that stupid betraying priest had tried to put it on him, and threw it angrily at the floor, even though it only fluttered down as if he had dropped it accidentally. He hated it, ever since that blonde twit had climbed aboard with him and Noah, Justin had mistaken Gopher as a girl and just loved to dress him up. Damned sadist priest.

Giriko was another big problem, with Justin's constant play of dress-up, the chainsaw man had cornered him. Apparently Giriko had a lot of pent up energy and needed a girlish figure to take it out on, the shinigami that was chained up was out of the question though (Noah absolutely _not_ agree to it), and Justin….

"I want someone nice and young, I wanna see those cute teary eyes."

Gopher shivered at the mere memory and could _feel_ tears threatening to come out with remembering.

It didn't help that Justin always made sure that the outfits that were forcibly put on him were devastatingly girly, like he had gotten several million magical girl cosplays all just to play dolly with the vulnerable boy. Giriko liked the Lolita ones; Gopher hated cosplay companies _so much._

While Gopher was steaming profanities through his mind, the boy accidentally ran into something in the middle of the hallway. Looking up, Gopher saw the familiar dark skinned figure of Noah, the man's dark brown eyes scrutinizing him as he took in the large pink puff that was the boy he created.

"N-Noah…sama." Gopher squeaked, immediately flushing at the sight of his master.

"Gopher…" The tanned man drew out the name so slowly; it was as if a father had walked in on his son making out with another male.

The boy tensed up, his body lightly trembling as he stood before the man, "Gopher… my tool… _what _are you wearing?"

"N-Noah-sama, I-it was that priest! He-"

Noah raised a hand to stop Gopher's talking, pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes hidden within the shadow that was given from the shade of his hat.

"No excuses." He said tightly, gruffness in his voice, "Out of my sight."

"But Noah-sama-"

"Out of my sight!"

Gopher tried to hold in the tears that were threatening to leak out, holding himself stiffly, "Yes, Noah-sama."

Gripping onto the hem of the pink tutu-like skirt of the short dress, Gopher walked around the still figure that was his creator. Once he was successfully away form the warlock, Gopher rounded a corner sharply and sank down the wall gripping his head, trying to resist the urge to rip out his hair with his pink glove-clad hands.

Damn that Maka Albarn that had made him fail his mission. Damn that Justin Law for fitting him in these dresses. Damn that Giriko for sexually molesting him. And damn that Death the Kid for being able to be a special piece in Noah's Book of Eibon.

Gopher clenched his hand into a fist, he wished he had a therapist, but who was there to complain to when everybody in their abandoned cathedral was one of his problems?

… But wait.

There was only one person in this building that he would be able to complain to, someone that _had_ to listen, someone who was chained to a wall and not able to walk away.

Gopher slammed open the door that led into a certain shinigami's prison cell, still clad in his frilly apparel. Death the Kid looked up calmly, since Gopher tended to burst into his room whenever he was angry, but he definitely was not expecting the tormentor to be in such an outfit.

Failing at his attempt to keep a poker face, Death the Kid had to try to hide his emerging chuckles by turning his face towards one of the arms that was pinned above him as his hands were not available to cover his mouth. Gopher looked absolutely furious, but it was just so comical to see his eyes raging with fire while in the ridiculous pink dress.

"Well if you aren't a bit angry, miss." The shinigami snickered.

"Shut up, shinigami!" Gopher exclaimed.

Death the Kid rose an eyebrow as Gopher came storming towards him, he was expecting a punch to the stomach, but didn't predict Gopher coming to slump beside him on the ground. He was leaning his head back against the wall, bringing his knees up to his chest.

The shinigami was immediately suspicious, "Hey, what-?"

"I don't like my life." Gopher interrupted.

"?" Kid didn't know what to make of that, "What are y-?"

"I just don't know why life doesn't like me."

"…"

Kid was confused, when had he suddenly become someone that Gopher went to?

"I mean, I don't like it when Justin dresses me up, I'm male dammit!"

So that's why he was dressed like that.

"And Giriko keeps on…" the boy shivered, "Thank _God_ that he's yet to have undressed me, but nonetheless, where he puts his _hands_. I don't like it when people touch me…"

Death the Kid frowned, he did _not _want to hear about Gopher's… violations.

"And that damn Maka Albarn-"

"OI!" Kid interrupted, "Don't talk about Maka that way!"

Gopher jabbed a finger up at him from his position on the ground, comical tears streaming out from his eyes, "_LISTEN TO MY PROBLEMS!"_

The shinigami let out an irritated growl, but silenced himself.

"Then there's _you,_" Gopher complained, Kid didn't respond, "why do _you_ get to be part of Gopher's collection? It's not fair…"

An exasperated vein was threatening to pulse from Kid's temple, "You know, I'm not your therapist."

The boy at his foot took a handful of his already wrinkled shirt and pulled at it agitatedly, yelling at him, "Shut up and comfort me!"

"…Um," Kid was at loss for words, "There, there?"

Gopher didn't let go of his shirt, but loosened his hold as his body went limp with angst, "That's all I ask for…"

Kid would have hit his forehead against the stonewall had it been possible, but since it wasn't, he merely hung his head. Feeling the title of Gopher's personal confession box/therapist being dubbed upon him, the shinigami didn't feel as though he would enjoy his time here, especially when Gopher was already abusing him, complaining wasn't something he enjoyed hearing.

…

_Thank goodness,_ Kid thought as he floated in the white space that was in Noah's Book of Eibon, he was finally able to get away from that bundle of misery at his foot.

Meanwhile, Gopher was sitting gloomily in the empty prison cell, mumbling sadly, "Where's the shinigami?"

…

**A/N: Yes, yes, it's just about the cheesiest thing ever (that's a lie, I've made cheesier). But really, I had to make it, the thought wouldn't keep haunting me. I've already made a small comic version of this, but it cuts out a lot (is only 4 panels), but I still think I did okay on it. **

**If you want to see it, here's the link: ****makenshicrona (dot) deviantart**** (dot) com/gallery/#/d3czb07**

**But if you don't, that's okay, you know, whatever ;_;**

**Thank you for reading ^-^**


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